Moms

Every toddler has the touch of the OCD. One minute, your child is the sweetest little ray of sunshine, and the next, she busts out with a Courtney Love on Mountain Dew level meltdown because you poured milk in her Dora cup instead of her Elmo one.

There are some kids who easily adapt and simply roll with the punches. Forgot the pink sippy cup? Well, that’s alright, mom – the green one is just spiffy! These toddlers are a rare breed and often cause a mom to stare at them with a mix of awe and wonder usually reserved for a free Hermes bag stuffed with Skinnygirl and Dove bars.

However, the breed of toddler most often observed in nature is that which mysteriously sprout talons and fangs if you put too much toothpaste on their brush.

My three-year-old falls in the latter.

At an event the other day, my friend – a new mom with a six-month-old – mentioned an upsetting trend at her office.

The other day I headed off to the craft store to finish off my Christmas gift list. My godson, a four-year-old budding Van Gogh, wanted some new art projects to work on.

When I entered, I was engulfed in a display of make-your-own headbands and jewelry, manicure sets and scrapbooks, vajazzlers and macramé thong kits. But what I didn’t see were kits ideal for those with XY chromosomes.

Sure, there were some awesome gender-neutral Crayola kits as well as a paint-your-own coffee mug, but I thought that was a little insensitive for a preschooler trying to kick his caffeine addiction.

Finally, behind a glitter-bomb-your-own-purse set, I uncovered a lowly wooden car kit – the only blue box in a sea of pink and purple.

I’m not the only one who has difficulty finding a specific gift for a child whose interests don’t fall into a stereotypical gender mold.

There’s nothing like destroying your child’s Christmas wishes that makes you feel like the meanest mom in the whole wide world.

If we're going to be perfectly honest here, I would guess that I spend roughly 25 seconds of every minute wondering whether or not my kids are normal. The other 35 seconds are usually dominated by wondering what I'm going to have for dessert.

You can call me crazy, but last night as I was hiding in the bathroom pretending like I was vomiting but really just trying to get a moment of peace as I surfed the web, I read an email from BabyCenter titled: “Is Your Baby Normal? Your Top 30 Questions Answered.”