Public Trepidation

One of the big ticket items on the Mayer Family 2013 Spring Break Bucket List was to take my three daughters (ages 1, 2 and 3) for a ride around the city on the metro link.

Yes, I know what you're thinking, and I doubled up on my Zoloft right before the train pulled into the station.

We pass the metro almost every morning on the way to pre-school and my girls are completely fascinated. My husband happened to be off work this week also so I had some back-up if things went all pear-shaped. Which is usually a pretty solid bet any time we leave the house.

I've always had fond memories of the metro - the cars buzzing with my fellow Cardinals fans on the way to a playoff game; crammed shoulder to shoulder with a group of spirited women on our way downtown to walk for a cure.

“LET'S GO CARDS!” I belted to two business men listening to their ipods as we all stepped onto the train.

The dynamic at 9 a.m. on a random Tuesday morning was a little different than my metro trips from days of yore.

No matter – I was excited to show my kids how worldly I am and watch them experience the beautiful camaraderie and cultural potpourri that can only be found on public transportation.

“MOM! That man has only TWO teeth!” My three-year-old announced to everyone in the entire world.

The original plan was to take them downtown and spend the morning walking around, however, the moment we emerged from the underground station at 8th and Pine the arctic wind slapped us all in the face.

Time to implement Plan B - point out some tall buildings and homeless people as I shouted, “SOAK IN THE CULTURE, KIDS!” over my shoulder, then put my head down and made a bee line across the street to descend back underground to the west bound side of the tracks.

We had all just started settling into our warm seats as I noticed a security guard making her way down the aisle. “You remembered to validate the tickets, didn't you?” I asked my husband.

“What? What does that mean... validate?”

“It means we're going to get kicked off in about 3... 2...1.”

Standing on the platform of the Grand station, the freezing wind whipping our faces, we huddled together simultaneously trying to stay warm and keeping the girls from running off the platform onto the tracks as we waited (this time, with validated tickets) for the next train. We sort of looked like a two-man rugby scrum.

It was right around the time a schizophrenic man insisted I was “Martha” for the 100th time and I lost feeling in my face that I decided my husband will never again be in charge of anything even remotely associated with travel or planning or common sense.

The good news is that all that traveling tuckered my kids right out and they were pretty much comatose for the next 12 hours.

©Photos by Hannah Mayer


By Hannah Mayer, events and family life blogger for SmartParenting

Hannah Mayer recently traded her Blackberry Smartphone for a Strawberry Shortcake when she retired from her 12-year career in advertising to become a full-time Mom to 3-year-old daughter Elliot, 2-year-old daughter Lillian, and 1-year-old daughter Hadley ("Hey, my husband is hot, okay?"). In her free time she enjoys eavesdropping on her neighbors' cordless phone conversations through the baby monitor, volunteering as an English tutor for the St. Louis Public School district and bucking the stigma that accompanies three car seats by challenging fellow drivers to freestyle battle raps from her mini van.

Hannah has written and published several fictional short stories but her entree into baring her soul to the world can be found at her blog sKIDmarks and her novel in progress Cute Little Bundle of Crazy. You can follow her on Twitter @The_sKIDmark or become a fan at facebook.com/sKIDmarking.

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Hannah Mayer is a nationally award-winning blogger, humor columnist and exponentially blessed wife and mother of three. She would trade everything for twelve uninterrupted hours in a room with Jon Hamm and two Ambien. You can find her on Facebook, Instagram or at her blog, sKIDmarks.

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