Kids Find a Safe Space to Connect at Camp Weloki Spring Retreats

Packed with drama, friend issues and self-doubt, school can be difficult for any kid to navigate through. But when they have the right tools in place to handle anything the day throws at them, our tweens and teens can come out stronger and more confident by that last bell.

For the past 25 years, Dr. Tim Jordan has helped give girls ages 8-18 a stronger voice to better resolve the normal issues of growing up, whether they stem from their classmates at school or the voices of self-doubt in their own minds. Through his yearly Camp Weloki spring retreats, girls come together in a safe, judgement-free zone where they can talk open and honestly about the issues affecting them and craft crucial coping skills.

And this year, he’s opening the same opportunity to boys so they can spend a weekend relaxing, connecting and bonding.

The reason for retreats

For three weekends at a lodge in St. Clair, Mo., kids discover a place where they can bond through traditional camp activities, like games, hiking and s’mores around a campfire. But where they truly connect is in a simple circle on the carpet.

“The main word here is safety,” explained Dr. Jordan, “What is said on the carpet stays on the carpet. We give them an opportunity, away from school, away from family, where they can have an open discussion about the issues they’re facing in life. They can listen to other people’s stories, relate to one another, and hear suggestions to find the strength to deal with the negative self-talk, friendship drama, and mean girls. It’s really the key component of the retreat and what makes us unique.”

Throughout the retreat, girls learn how to peacefully handle conflict, develop leadership skills, communicate their concerns, learn self-calming tools, and develop the self-confidence we all need as we travel from grade school to adulthood.

According to Dr. Jordan, most girls are simply trying to handle normal growing pains, which are difficult to deal with on their own.

For girls in grade school, that often means teasing, feeling excluded, and comparisons to siblings. Even at this young age, many are also worrying about physical issues, such as their weight and body image. As they enter middle school, drama and mean girl issues ramp up – and when you add in school stress, an avalanche of activities, and hormonal changes, it’s not surprising their anxiety levels go through the roof.

At Dr. Jordan’s retreats, attendees are encouraged to slow down and learn to take care of themselves. In our fast-paced world, our kids no longer know how to just spend time alone and take stock of their emotions and connect with their intuition– to relax and let feelings come to the surface rather than fester inside. When they’re given that opportunity, they thrive.

Said Dr. Jordan, “Everyone believes when girls hit middle school, their self-esteem plummets, and it doesn’t come back until well out of high school, if even at all. I don’t necessarily agree with that – when you get girls into a healthy environment where they feel safe and they don’t have to worry about pressure or people judging them, they’re fine. When you observe typical girls in the hallways of school, they don’t look as well. The environment holds them back from speaking up.”

“Girls need safe spots, at school or at home, where they can relax with each other, let their hair down, and know they’re not alone,” he added. “That’s why retreats are so important. They know they’re not the only ones with those feelings. They no longer feel isolated.”

Reaching out to our sons

This year, Dr. Jordan’s son, T.J. Jordan, a high school mentor in the Chicago public school system, will lead a special retreat just for boys. While boys have many of the same issues as girls, especially in terms of alienation from other kids, they have their own issues to wade through – a journey that gets even trickier in middle school when testosterone kicks in.

The principle behind Camp Weloki for Boys is similar to the girl’s retreat, but activities are adjusted to better suit a boy’s way of communicating. Dr. Jordan noted boys aren’t known for sitting around and sharing their feelings – they learn better through action. So they participate in more team-building exercises, such as raft building, where they can discover how to treat each other based on their personalities.

“Boys too often stay quiet about their issues – they’re not supposed to show their vulnerability,” he said. “But boys have hearts and feelings too. They need a place that’s compassionate and allows them a safe space where their feelings are free to come out. Having male mentors to help them get there makes all the difference.”

For both boys and girls alike, Dr. Jordan and his staff of camp counselors – most of whom attended Camp Weloki themselves – teach them how to steer the risky behaviors that arise in adolescence toward positive risk taking that boosts their self-esteem and reflects their interests.

“We want kids to take risks and find new adventures. Bill Gates wasn’t 50 when he began the road to Microsoft – he was in his teens and early twenties. We want our kids to feel confident and build the skills they need to jump on the good parts of risk taking – to think outside the box without worrying what others think. That’s how you change the world.”

Camp Weloki Spring Retreats are currently enrolling now for the following dates:

• All-Girl Middle School Journey for grades 6^th – 8^th: March 27-29, 2015
• All-Girl Grade School Journey for grades 3^rd – 5^th: April 17-19, 2015
• All-Boy Middle School Journey for grades 5^th – 8^th: May 15-17, 2015

Retreats are $335, and scholarships are available to those who qualify. In addition, you can reserve a spot for week-long sessions at Camp Weloki for Girls, which starts June 7. For more information or to enroll your child, visit www.campweloki.com or call 630-530-1883.

_{Photo: campweloki.com}