Are Pajamas Off Limits for the School Run?

The occasional “Pajama Day” may be okay for kids, but according to at least one school principal, it’s out of the question for parents.

Kate Chisolm, head teacher at Skerne Park Academy in Darlington, England, made headlines in January  after writing a letter to parents, asking that they “take the time to dress appropriately in day wear that is suitable for weather conditions” when escorting their children to or from school.

“I’m sure you will agree that it is important for us all to set our children a good example about what is appropriate and acceptable, not only from the standpoint of their safety and general well-being but also as preparation for their own adult life,” Chisolm wrote.   

Reactions to the letter have been mixed. Some applaud her for calling out parents who show up to daily drop-off, and even school concerts, wearing fuzzy pants and slippers, while others feel that lecturing to parents falls well outside her jurisdiction. And it’s not just in England – where pomp and circumstance reign supreme – that the issue of what parents wear in public has become a hot topic.

In 2014, Dr. Rosalind Osgood, a school board member in Broward County, Florida, went so far as to propose a dress code for moms and dads after observing parents in what she considered unsuitable attire.

“It’s hard for me to tell a child not to show up for school with hair curlers, pajamas or short shorts if they see parents wearing them. Parents need to lead by example,” Osgood is quoted as saying.

Obviously, a school board can’t legally enforce a dress code for parents, and Osgood’s proposition never got any real traction. But, like Chisolm’s letter, it has sparked heated debate. Are we as parents setting a bad example for our kids? And more importantly, do school officials have any right to comment on the choices we make for ourselves?

As a mom of two, I’ve been known to roll out of bed, pull on a pair of sweatpants and drive my kids to school without looking in the mirror on more than one occasion. Just last week, while waiting in the car in the school drop-off line one morning, my sixth grade daughter begged me to please fix my hair. “You look like a homeless person and the principal will see you,” she admonished.

(Sixth grade girls, in case you didn’t know, care a lot about what other people think. They are also notoriously critical of their mothers.)

I’ll be honest. I am not what you would call a morning person. And because I work from home, I don’t have to be. Since I never physically exit my vehicle when I drop my kids off at school, there are certainly mornings when I look less than my best. More often than not, I’m dressed and ready to tackle my day, but several years ago, when my kids were smaller and their needs were immediate and intense, this was not the case.

While Ms. Chisolm and Dr. Osgood may have positive intentions, it’s more than a bit simplistic to imply that outward appearance is so crucial to the example we set for our children. (Don’t we, after all, spend a lot of time teaching our kids that it’s what’s on the inside that counts?)  

It’s normal for parents to place our own appearance low on our list of priorities. We budget less for our clothes than we do for our kids. We skip workouts because we’re busy driving carpool. We get so caught up in the day-to-day work of making money and buying groceries and scheduling appointments and wrangling toddlers and just generally KEEPING EVERYBODY ALIVE that we don’t think much about what we’re wearing.

And that’s okay.

Maybe the mom at school with her hair in curlers is headed to an important business meeting later. Maybe the one in pajamas was up all night with a sick baby. Maybe the dad in sweatpants is battling cancer. You just don’t know.

I’m all for setting a positive example for our kids. But let’s teach them that you can’t judge a book by its proverbial cover. Let’s lead by example in ways that truly matter, by modeling traits like compassion, generosity, determination and dedication – no matter what we happen to be wearing.

What do you think? Is it wrong for parents to wear pajamas to school drop-off?