4 'Stress Less' Strategies for Getting Dinner on the Table

Getting a healthy, home-cooked meal on the table for dinner every evening can sometimes feel like a monumental task. We all want to feed our families well, of course, but the daily demands of family life often prevent parents – and mothers in particular – from achieving that elusive goal.

In fact, according to The Joy of Cooking?, a recent paper released by a group of sociologists at North Carolina State University, there is a significant disconnect between the family dinner ideal so frequently promoted by the media and the reality of what can actually be achieved in most American households.

“Cooking is at times joyful,” write the paper’s authors, “but it is also filled with time pressures, tradeoffs designed to save money and the burden of pleasing others.”

The authors spent over a year and half conducting in-depth interviews with 150 women from all different walks of life, and also observing the shopping, cooking and dining habits of poor and working-class families. They determined that while “others wax nostalgic about a time when people grew their own food and sat around a dinner table eating it, they fail to see all of the invisible labor that goes into planning, making and coordinating family meals.”  

Invisible labor may be par for the course when it comes to being a mom, but it’s still nice to see a study that validates what so many of us already know. Women in every demographic feel overwhelmed by the daily demand for dinner, mostly because we all struggle in one way or another with the logistics of preparing meals the whole family will eat and enjoy.

So how can we simplify the process and stress less about feeding our families? Here are a few ideas:

1. Get cozy with your crockpot.

If you don’t have crockpot or slow cooker, get one. Now. Busy moms swear by this appliance, which allows you to prepare delicious dinners without spending hours in the kitchen. Recipes like Crockpot Pasta Fagioli and Candy Chicken both require minimal prep work and are a hit with kids and adults alike.

2. Cook once, eat twice (or more).

On nights when you do have time to cook, double your effort in order to have meals ready to go later in the week. If you’re browning ground beef tonight for spaghetti sauce, brown extra to use in tomorrow night’s tacos. Instead of making one pan of lasagna or enchiladas, make two and freeze one for another meal.

Some moms prefer to do large batches of cooking all at once, and will devote an entire weekend to stocking their freezer with meals for the upcoming month. This makes for a lot of work up front, but can be a lifesaver on busy nights when you need a quick, homemade meal.     

3. Get help.

Men may be doing more than ever at home these days, but women – even those who work full time – still clock more hours doing routine domestic tasks like meal planning and grocery shopping. Gender stereotypes aside, though, Mom doesn’t have to be the family’s default full-time chef. Designate several nights a week where Dad takes charge in the kitchen, or reevaluate your division of labor so that both parents are taking responsibility for getting a healthy meal on the table.  

Another great source of help you may not have considered? Your kids. Tweens and teens are fully capable of cooking simple (and in some cases elaborate) meals, so why not encourage them to explore their culinary capabilities – and give yourself a break in the process.

4. Think outside the kitchen.

According to the sociologists behind The Joy of Cooking?, we need to rethink dinner time entirely if we want to prioritize healthy meals without burdening mothers with unrealistic expectations. “Let’s move this conversation out of the kitchen,” they write, “and brainstorm more creative solutions for sharing the work of feeding families.” Monthly town suppers, healthy food trucks and meal-sharing in schools and workplaces are among their out-of-the-box suggestions.

While not all of these ideas are feasible, they do highlight the importance of thinking creatively. Plan weekly potluck dinners with neighbors. Start a Community Dinner Series or a tradition of having friends over for Friday Night Meatballs. Ask retired grandparents to help you with weeknight cooking. Identify at least one healthy, go-to restaurant meal, and stop feeling guilty on nights when you need to order it.

“There is no one answer,” writes co-author Dr. Sinnika Elliot, referring to how we can eliminate the stress that cooking causes for moms. “But we hope this work inspires people to start thinking outside the family kitchen about broader things we as a society can do when it comes to food and health.”