Armed With Wit and the Written Word, Local Mom Tackles Breast Cancer Head On

Blogger Heather Lagemann is funny. Like snort-bourbon-out-your-nose, light-urine-leakage funny.

From the gloriously inappropriate (the adventures from the posterior end of a bikini wax) to the slightly stalkerish (someone may have seen Hanson in concert 40 times), her gift for exposing the funny side of life on her blog, Invasive Duct Tales, leaves readers often exclaiming “Oh no, she didn’t!” Well, those readers still stuck in 2001.

Yet, for every laugh-out moment comes a swift punch to the gut, when a sentence or paragraph unleashes the struggle this brave mom has faced over the past year. When you remember that behind every post is the vicious muse that led her to launch her blog in the first place.

In April 2014, at age 32, Lagemann, a nurse and mother of two young daughters from Alton, Ill., was diagnosed with breast cancer after finding a lump while breastfeeding her infant. Just two weeks later, Lagemann underwent a double mastectomy, and for the next five months, faced mounting fears and worries as she underwent chemotherapy.

Yet, through it all, Lagemann discovered an inner comedian that led her to take on cancer with humor, authenticity and openness. And consequently, rally fellow fighters around the nation, and in time, land herself an acclaimed honor.

“I was really living in fear, which is a terrible place to be,” she said. “Once I started the blog, I didn’t want to post negativity for others to read – it forced me to look for humor in the situation. That changed the experience for me. By looking for the humor and the positive, I finally could laugh at something I never thought I’d laugh at.”

Finding the funny in fear

“Last night, I answered the door to a Charter saleslady, and she didn’t know how to address me.  In all fairness, I was wearing my husband’s t-shirt, and I wasn’t wearing my boobs.  I saw the confusion in her eyes, and I heard the struggle in her voice as she asked me if I was ‘the…the…llllll….lady?…of the house.’ Damn this buzz cut!”

While Lagemann is the first to admit she never thought she was funny, her gift for holding nothing back has inspired all those who read her blog. She has given a voice to those who are beginning their own battles and shed light on the setbacks and triumphs patients face so that others could better understand how cancer affects every aspect of one’s life.

That wasn’t the goal when Lagemann started her blog and it’s still not today. Invasive Duct Tales was simply her way to keep friends and family updated about her condition as well as put words to her emotions at each step in her treatment – something she desperately needed when she discovered other cancer-focused sites were too frightening or lacked the honesty she was craving.

Said Lagemann, “When I started the blog, my mind was going so crazy. The blog become almost cathartic for me. When I blogged about my hair, losing my hair and having the buzz cut really, really bothered me. But as soon as I wrote it, I was over it. It’s been like that all along – I never realized how things were affecting me until I got them out. It has really helped me.”

Throughout her posts, she’s touched on everything from discussing her diagnosis with her older daughter to providing guidelines for talking to someone touched by cancer. There’s her shock when a homeless gentlemen refused to accept a dollar after seeing her bald head, her admission to playing the “cancer card” to avoid cooking a dish for Thanksgiving, and her well-deserved joy when ringing the bell to signal the completion of her chemotherapy in September.

And then there’s Taylor Hanson. Lots and lots of Taylor Hanson. Who is now also a reader of her site.

Taylor’s not the only one who’s stopped by Invasive Duct Tales. While her blog was written for her “and maybe my dad to read,” it quickly gained a following of readers nationwide impressed by her spirit. She has spoken with other women with cancer who have found a companion on their journey who sugarcoats nothing while sharing her experiences with pure honesty.

“I’ve been heard from women all over the country who say they’re going through the same thing, but didn’t know how to put it into words for others, but that I could help them do it. That’s really been the best part of it.”

Most recently, her wit and writing were awarded with a national honor and $1,000 when voters of Healthline named Invasive Duct Tales the Best Blog for 2014. Her storytelling skills have also landed her a stint as a columnist with The Alton Telegraph.

Throughout it all, Lagemann’s blog has been a resource where she can thank those who have inspired her since April and offer hope to those walking in similar shoes.

“I’m so surprised on how willing other people are to help you out. I think people are generally good. While we’re separated from each in our society, and close communities are a thing of the past, people are helpful and loving. It’s important to recognize when it’s needed and to be open to it. The help from others just flooded in – and I want to be able to offer the same support to others.”

Lagemann's blog is invasiveducttales.com. 

^{Photo courtesy of Heather Lagemann}