When you’re busy helping your kids with their homework, pretending to go to Pilates, and skipping PTA because you have one more season of The League left to watch, catching up on news sites and watching Brian Williams gets pushed to the sidelines. (But why in the world would you ever neglect dreamy Brian Williams?)
So welcome to our latest feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we've sorted through the enormous (and colorful) piles of parenting news and gossip so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.
On Labor Day weekend, the vacation home of former NFL player Brian Holloway was broken into by 300 partying teenagers who tweeted their criminal acts. After Holloway grabbed the photos from Twitter and posted them to his site, www.helpmesave300.com, parents threatened him this past week for calling out their precious sugarbears. While Holloway’s own background is a little sketchy, as a mom – and a human – the parents’ reaction makes me livid. If I ransacked someone’s house, my dad would have grounded me from every party for life, including my own wedding.
On the opposite end of a spectrum, one mom posted her daughter’s One Direction tickets on eBay after the teen lied about a sleepover so she could spend the night at an older boy’s house. Mom should take the humiliation one step further. Drag that teen to a Barry Manilow concert, force her into a Fanilow t-shirt, and make her sing all the words to “Mandy” at the top of her lungs. Then post those photos to Instagram.
A little harsh, maybe. but then again. No.
On Conan, Louis C.K. shared why he thinks smartphones are so toxic for kids – and the general public. His thoughts were uncomfortable, profound and pretty much right on. “You need to build an ability to just be yourself and not be doing something. That’s what the phones are taking away, is the ability to just sit there.” I agree – sometimes we just need to be by ourselves in our own minds. Though we’ll make room if Timberlake walks into our brains with a tub of gelato and a People magazine.
The Christian Science Monitor had to clarify its anti-cannibalism stand this week after an article about how the smell of a baby triggers a reaction in a woman’s brain set off a ridiculous firestorm among parents. Eoin O’Carroll intro-ed his article with, “If you're like most normal people, you've briefly considered eating a baby or two,” which obviously means the baby buffet is open. On Tuesday, he hilariously emphasized that neither he nor the Monitor endorse cannibalism. I, for one, was able to resist eating my newborn offspring as I rarely craved anything smothered in poop and regurgitated breastmilk.
Single ladies – the next time you’re hitting up Chili’s happy hour to land a husband, buy the least endowed fellow an appletini. Emory University found that men with smaller testicles make better fathers, trading the mating instinct for the parenting instinct. From now on, I’ll be watching TLC’s The Man With the 132-Pound Scrotum” through a brand new set of eyes.
When their daughter’s wedding was cancelled 40 days before the big event, two incredible parents decided to go ahead with the reception, inviting 200 homeless individuals to a special dinner. Men, women and children from Hosea Feed the Hungry, an organization where their daughter had volunteered, were able to leave their worries behind for a night of great food, entertainment and fellowship.
Metro East mom Nicole Plegge has written for STL Parent for more than 12 years. Besides working as a freelance writer & public relations specialist, and raising two daughters and a husband, Nicole's greatest achievements are finding her misplaced car keys each day and managing to leave the house in a stain-free shirt. Her biggest regret is never being accepted to the Eastland School for Girls. Follow Nicole on Twitter @STLWriterinIL
See the Zoo's California sea lions perform acrobatic and athletic feats, including Olympic-style dives on a high-diving platform, flipper walks, frisbee tosses and plenty of surprises. While on stage with the sea lions, the Zoo's trainers explain sea lion behavior and positive-reinforcement training, in addition to the need for conserving the sea lion's ocean habitat.
Free outdoor concerts are back at the Missouri History Museum. The May 2024 series of concerts feature favorites like Anita Jackson along with food trucks and exhibits inside the museum that are open to the public until 8 p.m. on concert nights.
Explore the Saint Louis Zoo in the evenings at the new Animals Aglow exhibit. Bring your family to experience the luminous glow of 50 towering lanterns depicting animals, plants and traditional Chinese elements. Don't miss this celebration of culture and art!
Dinoroarus is back for a limited time at the Saint Louis Zoo. This engaging attraction for all ages features 14 groupings of animatronic and stationary dinosaurs - colorful, prehistoric creatures that move realistically, some roaring and spiting or placidly munching on lush vegetation.
Kids can work on existing gym skills, learn new skills or just play around during Open Gym at Miss Kelly's Gym. Reservations are not necessary.