Mom's Happy Hour: Helicoptering Makes Us Happy

Welcome to Mom's Happy Hour, in which we sort through the latest news about parents, parenting and pop culture so you don't have to. And then we add a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

Helicoptering Makes Us Happier

When comparing the helicopter mom to the tiger mom, one comes out ahead, at least in terms of the mom’s happiness. According to a study from the University of Amsterdam, parents who focus their time and energy on satisfying a child’s needs as opposed to prioritizing achievement and success experience higher levels of fulfillment and joy. While this isn’t necessarily a call of arms to wrap your child in bubble wrap and chew his food for him, it does help show there needs to be some level of balance with any parenting style so everyone – parents and child – have an overall sense of well-being.

The Reason Every Kid Likes Jimmy Fallon Better Than Jimmy Kimmel

Besides the fact Jimmy Fallon performed the Sesame Street theme song with Big Bird and Abby Cadabby, kids hate Kimmel for one main reason – his annual “I Told My Kids I Ate All Their Halloween Candy” YouTube challenge. For the third year in a row, parents uploaded videos showing their kids’ reactions after they “confessed” to sneaking their SweeTarts. The results were absolutely hilarious, and maybe just a tad bit heartbreaking.

As in prior years, commenters shamed the parents for embarrassing their kids on a national scale. I totally get that – no one, not even a three-year-old, wants to be humiliated. But after all the times they’ve spit up formula down our backs, pulled down our bras in public, and screamed “You’re not my mom!” when we pull them out of the toy aisle at Walmart, it is sweet, sweet payback.

The Jennifers Cut Their Hair!

Apparently both Jennifer Aniston and Jennifer Lawrence cut their hair short this week. And apparently this is a huge deal we all need to know about since their bob and pixie took over every one of my news feeds. When I see a photo of Aniston eating a Twinkie and skipping Pilates for one day or Lawrence plucking her mustache in a Town & Country rearview mirror, then I’ll care. And give them the fist bumps they deserve.

Don’t Mess With Tom Cruise. Seriously, Don’t.

Like any parent, Tom Cruise takes his parenting role very seriously. While he has filed suit against the tabloids for insinuating he was gay and for wiretapping his phone, he’s come out swinging harder than ever. This week, Cruise filed a $50 million lawsuit against Life & Style and In Touch for reporting that he has abandoned his daughter, Suri. In the suit, he remarked, “…even during the times when I was working overseas and was not able to see Suri in person, we were (and continue to be) extremely close.”

While $50 million seems insane, as a parent, you can’t help but sympathize. You can tell a mom her house is filthy, that wearing pajama pants to Walmart is pathetic, and that her craft skills aren’t Pinterest-worthy. But if you ever tell a caring parent she doesn’t adore her children or isn’t giving them all the love they deserve, she will cut you with a Play-Doh knife.

An Accessory That Keeps You Connected

If you’re tired of being judged by other parents for checking your smartphone at the playground, sick of trying to cram your iPhones into the pocket of your skinny jeans, or panicked your babysitter can’t reach you when you’re at the movies, a new fashion accessory is making it easier for women to stay secretly connected.

The MEMI is a sleek metal bracelet with Bluetooth technology that connects to your smartphone and buzzes when someone contacts you. You can adjust your alerts by phone calls, text or calendar updates and identify who you want to receive alerts from. For instance, if you only want calls from your sitter while you’re on date night, you can set MEMI to get her alerts only and not the sexts from your drunk friend who thinks she’s texting her boyfriend. The MEMI is currently in Kickstarter mode, but it looks like a great accessory will soon be headed our way.

The Curtain Closes on Blockbuster

A few months ago, my daughter saw a Blockbuster sign and asked me what it was. When I explained that you rent DVD’s there, she was utterly confused. Why drive to a store when Redbox and Netflix and OnDemand are at your fingertips? She’s not the only one who wondered – on Wednesday, Blockbuster announced it would be closing its remaining 300 stores. 

There’s a small part of me that will be nostalgic – remembering those nights in high school when we’d pick up Lethal Weapon 3 on a date and go back home to make out on my parent’s couch. Or avoiding the horror section because the Carrie VHS cover made me cry. However, part of me feels vindicated since they made me pay $22 for a copy of Role Models they said I never returned. Have you seen Role Models, Blockbuster? It’s awful, and your insinuation I kept it is just insulting.

Man, Can We Parents Do Anything Right on Halloween? Example #1

According to Fargo lady, we should be restricting candy for kids. On the other hand, a professor from Rutgers University says constraints could alter children’s decision-making skills in the future. Remarked Samira Kawash in Time Magazine, “The child who is deprived of the opportunity to see himself as responsible, capable and trustworthy in relation to a relatively harmless sack of candy is going to have a much tougher time when he’s on his own facing the choices and temptations of adult life.”

Kawash said instead of limiting candy to two pieces a day, parents should talk with kids about our concerns regarding overindulging, encourage them to eat healthy, and explain how to make good decisions. Or, you could go the route of my parents – “Eat all the candy you want, but don’t cry to me when you puke.”

Halloween Recap

Man, Can We Parents Do Anything Right? Example #1

According to Fargo lady, we should be restricting candy for kids. On the other hand, a professor from Rutgers University says constraints could alter children’s decision-making skills in the future. Remarked Samira Kawash in Time Magazine, “The child who is deprived of the opportunity to see himself as responsible, capable and trustworthy in relation to a relatively harmless sack of candy is going to have a much tougher time when he’s on his own facing the choices and temptations of adult life.”

Kawash said instead of limiting candy to two pieces a day, parents should talk with kids about our concerns regarding overindulging, encourage them to eat healthy, and explain how to make good decisions. Or, you could go the route of my parents – “Eat all the candy you want, but don’t cry to me when you puke.”

Man, Can We Parents Do Anything Right on Halloween? Example #2

One of the most hilarious – and most controversial – kids’ costumes this year were two toddlers dressed up as Jesse and Walt from Breaking Bad, complete with blue rock candy “meth” pops. What was one mom and Breaking Bad fan’s personal inside joke with friends hit the Internet like wildfire, especially once Aaron Paul, who played Jesse, posted the photo to his Instagram page. Naturally, the judgment gang put an emotional hit on the mom, criticizing her parenting choices and her poor taste. While she insisted the costumes weren’t the ones she planned to have them wear on Halloween and she was just having a little fun with her family, it made her reconsider what she ever posts to Facebook again.

Reason #462 We Love NPH

Because Neil Patrick Harris can do no wrong, he and his fiancé, David Burtka, once again created the best Halloween family portrait in Hollywood. Along with their twins, the family channeled the most iconic monsters in horror history – quite the switch-up from their sweet-themed Peter Pan, Alice in Wonderland and The Wizard of Oz portraits of the past. It totally mirrors what our Halloween photo would look like. If I had money. Or time. Or a team of Hollywood makeup artists at my beck and call.

Guilt-Free Stealing

Let’s just admit it – the moment your kids go to bed, you’re hoarding all their Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Kit Kats on the highest shelf in the cabinet, behind the quinoa and corn starch, leaving your children with a sad mix of broken Bottle Caps and candy corn.

For all of us parents who steal from our kids’ trick-or-treat buckets for our own hedonistic purposes, you’re not alone. The National Confectioners Association reported that 81 percent of us skim from their stash. It’s sweet, sweet repentance. Do you know how many times we’ve had to rush out to get them diapers/formula/milk at 2 a.m.? It’s only right that one night of the year, our kids do our candy bidding to ensure we build up a Butterfinger reserve that only people 5 feet and taller can access.