When Mommy Brain Rears Its Ugly Head

A few weeks ago, I called my dad to ask him a quick financial question. I thought it was weird my stepmom answered his cell phone, and my dad seemed a bit groggy, but I didn’t think much of it.

After I hung up, my husband asked, “So, how did your dad’s surgery go today?”

Yes, the worst daughter in the whole world forgot her father was having major hand surgery that day. On top of that, I also forgot my daughter’s lunch for her field trip and missed an important deadline at work. But all the words to New Kids on the Block’s Tonight? That I could remember.

We moms used to be on top of things when we were managing happy hours and hair appointments for ourselves. But now that we’re overseeing social calendars for a family of four, the risk of forgetting something increases exponentially.

Add to that a lack of sleep and 10-hour workdays, and it’s a miracle we can even remember to put on clean underwear.

All that juggling we do to make us think we’re actually on top of things is really a leading cause of “mommy brain.” In other words, multitasking isn’t our superpower – it’s our kryptonite.

“Multitasking can be our own worst enemy,” said Dr. Lauren Schwarz, Assistant Professor of Neurology and Director of the Neuropsychology Division at Saint Louis University School of Medicine. “We often are pulled in many directions, trying to complete multiple tasks concurrently and, unfortunately, not being successful.

“My main suggestion for most busy people is to try and complete one task at a time," Schwarz continued. "Prioritize what is important to complete first, and then proceed from there.

Research has demonstrated that, as much as we hate to admit it, we are not good multi-taskers, Schwarz added, and in the attempt to do this, we often are less accurate.

"The concept of mindfulness is also important, meaning focus on the task at hand while minimizing distraction – particularly if the task is complex and important.”

In addition to focusing on one issue at a time, Schwarz noted that moms can take additional steps to remember important new information by repeating it out loud, writing it down a few times, and using mnemonics to help it stick in our minds. Developing a system of external cues, such as a calendar or “to-do list,” to help remember details is also critical.

The battle against memory loss

I just finished the phenomenal memoir, Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness, which follows a twenty-something’s fight against NMDAR encephalitis, an auto-immune disease in which her body attacked her brain and stole her memory. So, naturally, the anxiety-driven me worries that every time I forget my keys, I’m one step away from the sequel.

While memory lapses can be a sign of a serious medical condition, in a woman, it can often be a side effect of her fluctuating hormones, whether she just gave birth or is headed down the road toward menopause.

In fact, Schwarz noted that as many as 50 to 75 percent of new mothers experience postpartum blues, which can cause memory lapses. However, keeping track of these episodes is important to identifying any potential warning signs.

“If forgetfulness is happening repeatedly and is impairing your functioning, it would be good to discuss this symptom with your doctor," Schwarz said. "Additionally, if the forgetfulness is accompanied by other physical symptoms such as headache, dizziness, and changes in vision, these symptoms should be brought to the attention of your medical treatment providers in order to rule out an underlying medical cause.”

Just as important as battling mommy brain now is strengthening our minds for the future. And surprisingly, the steps are simple, and dare I say, enjoyable?

Schwarz suggested taking time to enjoy brain-stimulating activities like reading, doing puzzles, or exercising regularly with your doctors’ approval. From a dietary aspect, she recommends stocking up on heart- and brain-healthy foods such as vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and nuts, as well as foods rich in omega 3 fatty acids such as salmon.

Through trial and error, moms can find the memory boosters that work best for them. For me, I only got back on track once I stopped relying on my smart phone. The constant bings and swooshes eventually made me numb so I no longer paid attention to the alerts – that’s when I forgot my dad’s surgery, field trip lunches, and my work deadlines.

It was only when I went back to old-fashioned pen-to-paper that I could better prioritize. And really, there’s nothing that thrills an OCD’er with memory issues more than whipping out her Sharpie to cross things of her to-do list.

By Nicole Plegge, Lifestyle Blogger for SmartParenting

Metro East mom Nicole Plegge is the lifestyle and pop culture blogger for SmartParenting. Besides working full time for a local nonprofit and raising two daughters and a husband, Nicole's greatest achievements are finding her misplaced car keys each day and managing to leave the house in a stain-free shirt. Her biggest regret is never being accepted to the Eastland School for Girls.

Admit it moms, we multitask, juggling a million things a day. Does it make us more effective? You might be surprised ht.ly/hHFvq

— St. Louis Kids Mag (@stlkids) February 14, 2013