Sick Puppies

I've always wondered what kind of jerk parent would take their sick kids to a public place. Specifically a public place where there would be a bunch of other kids.

I tirelessly work day in and day out sanitizing shopping carts, administering vitamins and sacrificing virgin chickens to the gods of children's wellness all to drop them off at pre-school to see some kid with the creature from the green lagoon hanging out of his nose.

I mean, how selfish! Kids spread viruses faster than Lindsay Lohan at a... well... anything – and dropping a sick kid in the middle of a bunch of healthy ones just so you can have a little break just shows a total lack of respect for anyone and everything. Reckless.

Then there was last week.

I walked through the crowd a few steps ahead of my kids so no one would think they were mine. I had been holed up in my house for 72 hours straight wiping snotty noses and wondering why a child's natural reaction is to run around the house screaming when they barf.

Human beings, especially human Moms, aren't meant to be cut off from society. It's science. You start to get weird. By the time I bundled up the kids and got them into the car I had to make sure there was enough room in the back seat for my imaginary friends.

We were going to the Faust Park puppet show – one of my favorite kid activities in St. Louis – and nothing was going to stop us. Not illness, not guilt, and certainly not our pediatrician telling me whatever they have is definitely contagious and we should stay inside until they were better.

I had reached my breaking point. I couldn't take another second watching movies in my pajamas. I know – words I never imagined I would think, let alone confess to anyone else publicly.

“Geez - whose kid is that?” I said to anyone within ear shot as Ellie sneezed and half of her brain shot onto a bunch of babies.

As the puppets merrily danced and sang and the other children clapped and laughed, Lila lay lethargically on my lap, cheeks flushed, and looked up at me and said, “Mommy my tummy hurts”

“Shhhhhh,” I said, stuffing my sock into her mouth.

Mid way through the show they asked for volunteers.

“Right here! She's perfectly healthy! No cough or fever!” I yelled, peeling Ellie off the floor and pushing her to the front.

I'm pretty sure when she launched into an uncontrollable coughing fit she covered her mouth and blocked at least 80 percent of the snot spraying from her nose and mouth onto the other children.

I have to say, though, I do believe in the healing power of fresh air. By the time we took a spin on the carousel post-show, the girls were almost back in fighting form.

Of course not well enough for me to skip the magical nap time Benadryl when we got home. I have to get some sanity where I can take it.  

The Faust Park puppet show and complimentary carousel ride will be back just in time for spring break: Fridays, February 15 through March 22 at 10 a.m. (doors open at 9:30). Tickets may be purchased in advance by stopping by the Faust Park gift shop or calling 314-615-8383.

I promise my kids will be healthy by then. As far as anyone will know, they'll be healthy.

By Hannah Mayer, events and family life blogger for SmartParenting

Hannah Mayer recently traded her Blackberry Smartphone for a Strawberry Shortcake when she retired from her 12-year career in advertising to become a full-time Mom to 3-year-old daughter Elliot, 2-year-old daughter Lillian, and 1-year-old daughter Hadley ("Hey, my husband is hot, okay?"). In her free time she enjoys eavesdropping on her neighbors' cordless phone conversations through the baby monitor, volunteering as an English tutor for the St. Louis Public School district and bucking the stigma that accompanies three car seats by challenging fellow drivers to freestyle battle raps from her mini van.

Hannah has written and published several fictional short stories but her entree into baring her soul to the world can be found at her blog sKIDmarks and her novel in progress Cute Little Bundle of Crazy. You can follow her on Twitter @The_sKIDmark or become a fan at facebook.com/sKIDmarking.