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We've got some fun in store for you and your little monsters!

Welcome to our weekly feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we sort through the enormous (and colorful) piles of news and gossip about parents and parenting so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment. Here's the latest:

New app censors spoilers on social media

You’ve set the DVR for The Voice, headed to your daughter’s tumbling lesson, and spent an hour at the Y fantasizing of the moment you can get home to your couch, box of wine and Adam Levine. You casually open your Facebook account on your phone while you wait, and… “Goddamnit, Grandma!” – she just let the world know which contestant got the boot.

I am the Cinderella of the suburbs. Lured by my Broadway-esque yearnings for my Prince Charming (where for art thou, Jon Hamm?), reptiles, rodents and birds alike regularly descend upon our suburban castle for a little Alan Menken-scribed sing-along.

But these forest friends aren’t buffing my dishes clean with their fluffy tails or sewing me fabulous dresses from old burp cloths – they’re eating all my food, mating in my closets and relieving themselves on my floor like a bunch of inebriated frat boys.

When we lived in the city, we had our share of vermin – like the opossum who became my own personal jack-in-the-box by popping out of the garbage can every time I pitched the trash. Or the squirrel who loitered in our back staircase and went Christmas Vacation on us every time we opened the door.

But living the burbs is a whole new Wild Kingdom. While we live in a neighborhood, we’re also surrounded by acres of cornfields that house a menagerie of creatures that need some place to hang out when the combines take out their natural habitat.

Lots of kids love bugs, and if yours are fans of the crawling creatures, the Saint Louis Science Center has the buggy adventure for them, complete with thousands of live insects, bug cuisine (gulp), and a live insect petting zoo.

The Science Center will open its doors for an insect invasion this week with its new exhibit: Harry’s Big Adventure: My Bug World! The exhibition is a multisensory experience that immerses visitors into the world of bugs by introducing them to thousands of live insects.

Love a good ghost story, but afraid of creeping out your kids? Just in time for Halloween, Trailnet is hosting “Ghosts of the Past” - kid-friendly bike tours of local graveyards that get your entire family up close and personal with the city’s spirit world as well as help you kill off a few calories on a six-mile bike ride.

“Trailnet has teamed up with historian extraordinaire - Harold Karabell – who will lead riders through Bellefontaine and Calvary cemeteries,” explained Josie McDonald, director of communications and marketing for Trailnet. “Riders will visit some of the most important ‘ghosts’ from the city’s past and learn about their roles in the history of both our city and our country – among others, Tennessee Williams and Dred Scott.”

Your family can choose from either “Ghosts of the Past” tour or participate in both for a well-rounded history lesson.

When you’re busy helping your kids with their homework, pretending to go to Pilates, and skipping PTA because you have one more season of The League left to watch, catching up on news sites and watching Brian Williams gets pushed to the sidelines. (But why in the world would you ever neglect dreamy Brian Williams?)

So welcome to our weekly feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we've sorted through the enormous (and colorful) piles of parenting news and gossip so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

I liked you very much. Just the way you were.

It's finally beginning to feel like fall. (Ok. not really, but if you step outside really early in the morning, before you've even had your coffee, there is a bit of a nip in the air.) But it is the time of year to start scouring for that perfect pumpkin. And in St. Louis, a trip to the pumpkin patch means you're in for a day of carnival rides, petting zoos, wagon rides, custard, funnel cakes and bounce houses along with the full fall harvest to load up into your minivan.

Here are a few popular pumpkin patches to put on your list.

I used to think it was normal parenting behavior to spend every waking moment brainstorming horrific random things that could happen to your kids.

“So, what about being attacked by a family of jellyfish?” My friends stared at me like I had a tap dancing chimp on my head. “Sinkholes filled with alligators?” I asked hopefully.

You might say I'm a worrier. And I thought I had run through every possible emergency parenting scenario and how I would react – always emerging the hero, obviously – in my head, but that's the thing about being a parent. You're all ready to push your kid out from under a falling tree branch and then a runaway Shriner car jumps the curb and flies into the parade crowd.

It’s hard to plan a night at the theater that everyone in the family can enjoy. There’s not enough slapstick for the kids, not enough action for dad, and not enough Justin Timberlake for mom.

When you’re busy helping your kids with their homework, pretending to go to Pilates, and skipping PTA because you have one more season of The League left to watch, catching up on news sites and watching Brian Williams gets pushed to the sidelines. (But why in the world would you ever neglect dreamy Brian Williams?)

So welcome to our latest feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we've sorted through the enormous (and colorful) piles of parenting news and gossip so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

As much as our kids love their technology and pop music, we as parents can help introduce them to the first musical superstars.

Trying to explain the last few years of my life to people who don’t know me well is always a bit of a challenge.

This week I decided to try my first cleanse because, well, frankly jeans season intimidates me more than swimsuit season.

Hear me out.

Last weekend, the husband and I spent our 10-year wedding anniversary doing something we frequently did before the little Plegges came along – enjoying a weekend music festival and making fun of that drunk girl.

Between making googly eyes at Brandon Flowers and mentally chastising the 20-somethings for some of their fashion choices (Honestly girls – you will never have a better butt than you do at age 21. To take it for granted with your ironic mom-jean shorts makes me weep.), I looked over at my husband and thought, man, I am lucky to have him. And also how ridiculous he would look in a hipster tank top and neon sunglasses.

In honor of our 10-year anniversary, I wanted to share with my own kids a few words of wisdom to follow when picking out a mate. I know, I know, I have no room to talk – 10 years is just a blip in the overall game of life, but by Hollywood standards, we’re celebrating our diamond anniversary, worthy of a surprise potluck and card shower in the church basement.

To my darling daughters:

The Foundry Art Centre kicks off its new Children's Book Club in October, offering kids a chance to mix reading and art. Kids ages 3-8 can join the club, which meets once each month, and explore the world of books through fairy tales, sharing opinons and themed art projects.

On September 28, grab your cleats and head to Hermann Stadium at Saint Louis University for the third annual Great America SCORES Soccer Dribble. Your goal?

When a new movie premieres at the Saint Louis Science Center's OMINIMAX Theater, it's a big deal - literally.

Alexis and Krystle. Kelly and Brenda. Zach and Slater. If there’s anything 80’s TV has taught us is that everyone has a frenemy at one point or another. Yet, as any parent knows, the frenemy battles can start early in a child’s life.

While preschoolers may not be stealing each other’s boyfriends or shoving their enemies in the mud by their shoulder pads, hitting, name-calling and hair-pulling can become the norm when they’re trying to find their spot in the social hierarchy.

According to Chesterfield play therapist and registered clinician James Carroll, the main reason children argue at this young age is because of their level of development, which affects their ability to control their emotions and aggressive feelings.

According to a report released earlier this year by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), breastfeeding rates are on the rise.