parenting

Did you know that January is National Thank You Month?

Like a lot of married couples, my husband and I rarely find time for date night. In fact, our 11-year wedding anniversary came and went last June, and we have yet to celebrate the occasion with a proper night out. Busy work schedules, family obligations, and – let’s face it – sometimes sheer exhaustion all prevent us from finding the time we need to spend alone together.  

But according to a study conducted by The National Marriage Project last year, we’re foregoing date night at our own peril. Researchers at The University of Virginia determined that couples who go out together at least once a week are three times more likely to report being “very happy” in their relationships. They have better sex lives, and are less likely to get divorced too.
 
And – as if this isn’t enough pressure already – their findings also suggest that date nights even make us better parents.  

I used to think it was normal parenting behavior to spend every waking moment brainstorming horrific random things that could happen to your kids.

“So, what about being attacked by a family of jellyfish?” My friends stared at me like I had a tap dancing chimp on my head. “Sinkholes filled with alligators?” I asked hopefully.

You might say I'm a worrier. And I thought I had run through every possible emergency parenting scenario and how I would react – always emerging the hero, obviously – in my head, but that's the thing about being a parent. You're all ready to push your kid out from under a falling tree branch and then a runaway Shriner car jumps the curb and flies into the parade crowd.

It was a beautiful summer morning, unseasonably cool for August. We didn't have anything on the calendar so I decided to take my girls on a leisurely stroll to pick up a few items at the grocery store, then swing by the dry cleaner for my husband's dress shirts on our way home.

My one-year-old happily chattered in her stroller pointing out birds and squirrels, craning her head upward to smile at me when I pointed out the same to her. My two and four-year-olds merrily skipped along the sidewalk in front of us shouting “die creatures die” every time they stomped on an ant. It was the perfect morning – the kind of morning I dreamed about having when I dreamed about being a stay-at-home Mom.

But by the time we arrived back home I was more anxious than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. That little voice inside my head, you know the one – the one who tells you to do things, like pour bleach on your neighbor's stupid perfect flowers? (No? Just me? Nobody?) Well by the time we walked in our garage that little voice was screaming inside my head, “That took you over two hours. TWO. HOURS. Do you know how much more you could have accomplished today if you would have just driven?” I hurried the kids inside and dusted something.

Every little girl loves Disney princess movies – they want to be rescued by a handsome prince and live a perfect princess life in a castle surrounded by singing rodents. It’s enough to make a mom cringe every time she turns on the DVR.

But the 1940’s and 50’s patriarchal plots of Walt Disney’s fairy tales are a far cry from the girl power stories collected by the Brothers Grimm in the early 1800’s. In fact, their “heroine journeys” of Rapunzel, Cinderella and Snow White were used to guide teenage girls through the tricky transition from childhood to womanhood, and the lessons of these classic stories resonate in today’s modern world.

In fact, in his new book, Sleeping Beauties, Awakened Women: Guiding the Transformation of Adolescent Girls¸ St. Louis developmental and behavioral pediatrician Dr. Tim Jordan noted Cinderella toiled alone for seven years, becoming independent and self-reliant while Rapunzel traveled in the desert taking care of her children by herself.

With the new school year just a few days away, the lessons Dr. Jordan outlines in Sleeping Beauties, Awakening Women can help girls handle the mean girl drama and stress waiting for them in the hallways, find their inner strength, and guide them in finding the support needed to thrive during the most confusing times of their lives.

The Disney princesses may be beloved by little girls around the world, but for parents who aspire to more for their daughters than looking pretty and being rescued by a prince, these lovely ladies pose a bit of a problem.

It’s hard for any first grader to fathom – the freedom we had just 30 years ago. It’s been hotly debated between the helicopter mom and the free range parent – how much freedom do we give a child who has demonstrated she can handle herself?