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I am not a morning person. At all. But, to be clear, I'm not really a night person, either. I'm more of what you would call a sleep person. I mean... there's a small window of time immediately following my afternoon Starbucks fix from 3 – 3:30 p.m. where I understand exactly what it is Lady Gaga is singing about as I drive a little faster than usual, but for the most part whatever the time of day, whatever it is I'm doing, I would rather be catching some shut eye.

Before kids I would sleep until the last possible moment, hop out of bed just before I had to be at work, dash into a phone booth, strap on my jet pack and rocket out the door. I had my morning routine timed out to the nano-second to allow myself the most sleep possible.

But now that I have three little girls, morning life is oh so different.

Voting is ongoing in the STL Parent Greatest Costume Contest Ever! Anyone can vote, whether your child is entered into the contest or not, so be sure to get your vote in for your favorite little monster!

Spooktacular Prizes include:

• 1st Place: A one-year membership to The Magic House. Your membership includes unlimited free admission for you and your family all year long! Plus, 10 free guest passes, 15% discount in the Museum Shop, 20% discount on birthday parties and summer camps, invitations to member-only special events, including Breakfast with Santa and Fairy Tale Tea and lots more!

• 2nd Place: A fantastic, high-energy birthday party at Vetta Sports. Your child's birthday party can have it all: inflatable bouncers, lazer tag, soccer challenges, and multi-sport games at Vetta. Choose the Vetta Sports location that suits you best, and get ready to have an unforgettable party!

For parents in the Metro East, a quick trip over the river for a family fun activity can be daunting.

If recent headlines are any indication, kids and restaurants are like oil and water – the two just don’t mix. From the Mexican establishment in Texas that implemented yet another ban on children last August to a recent incident at Applebee’s where the police were called on an “unruly” family, it’s clear that we as a society are conflicted when it comes to where our kids belong, and how we expect them to act when they’re there.

Children need to know how to behave appropriately in a variety of social settings. It’s a valuable life skill that will serve them well as they grow. However, it also happens to be one with a serious learning curve. And as parents, it’s our responsibility to figure out which public outings our kids are ready to handle gracefully, and which ones are setting them – and us – up to fail.

Dining out with kids isn’t for the faint of heart. Even the best laid plans can be foiled by a mid-meal meltdown.  But there ARE ways to make the entire experience a more positive one for you and your children, as well as restaurant staff and other guests.

Here are a few do’s and don’ts to consider: 

Recently, fitness enthusiast and mom Maria Kang made headlines for a photo of herself in a

Welcome to Mom's Happy Hour, in which we sort through the latest news about parents, parenting and pop culture so you don't have to. And then we add a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

Imma let you marry me

Last week, you could hear the sound of millions of hearts breaking when Kanye West proposed to new mom Kim Kardashian, complete with a 15-carat ring, a rented-out baseball stadium, and a 50-piece orchestra playing Lana Del Ray – quite the step up from his original idea of baking the ring in a Cheddar Bay Biscuit at Red Lobster. We’re pretty sure Kim is already pinning Mason jar candles and paper garlands to her Pinterest wedding board in preparation for her big day.

Dolphins take a bite out of tigers

Two years ago, tiger parenting was all the buzz in the child-rearing world. Born out of Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom, tiger moms focused on their children’s quest for individual achievement and excellence. This year, dolphin parenting, which celebrates playing, fun, open communication, and intimacy, is gaining momentum among parenting experts.

While I think I’m more of a dolphin than a tiger, in all honesty, when this parenting stuff gets too rough, I switch into cat parenting mode. I hide under the bed when my kids are too loud, hiss when a toddler won’t stop touching me, and act aloof and bitchy for no apparent reason.

There’s a lot to love about living in St. Louis, but at this precise moment in history, it’s the St. Louis Cardinals who probably top the list. Fresh off their victory over the L.A.

We've got some fun in store for you and your little monsters!

Welcome to our weekly feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we sort through the enormous (and colorful) piles of news and gossip about parents and parenting so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment. Here's the latest:

New app censors spoilers on social media

You’ve set the DVR for The Voice, headed to your daughter’s tumbling lesson, and spent an hour at the Y fantasizing of the moment you can get home to your couch, box of wine and Adam Levine. You casually open your Facebook account on your phone while you wait, and… “Goddamnit, Grandma!” – she just let the world know which contestant got the boot.

I am the Cinderella of the suburbs. Lured by my Broadway-esque yearnings for my Prince Charming (where for art thou, Jon Hamm?), reptiles, rodents and birds alike regularly descend upon our suburban castle for a little Alan Menken-scribed sing-along.

But these forest friends aren’t buffing my dishes clean with their fluffy tails or sewing me fabulous dresses from old burp cloths – they’re eating all my food, mating in my closets and relieving themselves on my floor like a bunch of inebriated frat boys.

When we lived in the city, we had our share of vermin – like the opossum who became my own personal jack-in-the-box by popping out of the garbage can every time I pitched the trash. Or the squirrel who loitered in our back staircase and went Christmas Vacation on us every time we opened the door.

But living the burbs is a whole new Wild Kingdom. While we live in a neighborhood, we’re also surrounded by acres of cornfields that house a menagerie of creatures that need some place to hang out when the combines take out their natural habitat.

Lots of kids love bugs, and if yours are fans of the crawling creatures, the Saint Louis Science Center has the buggy adventure for them, complete with thousands of live insects, bug cuisine (gulp), and a live insect petting zoo.

The Science Center will open its doors for an insect invasion this week with its new exhibit: Harry’s Big Adventure: My Bug World! The exhibition is a multisensory experience that immerses visitors into the world of bugs by introducing them to thousands of live insects.

Love a good ghost story, but afraid of creeping out your kids? Just in time for Halloween, Trailnet is hosting “Ghosts of the Past” - kid-friendly bike tours of local graveyards that get your entire family up close and personal with the city’s spirit world as well as help you kill off a few calories on a six-mile bike ride.

“Trailnet has teamed up with historian extraordinaire - Harold Karabell – who will lead riders through Bellefontaine and Calvary cemeteries,” explained Josie McDonald, director of communications and marketing for Trailnet. “Riders will visit some of the most important ‘ghosts’ from the city’s past and learn about their roles in the history of both our city and our country – among others, Tennessee Williams and Dred Scott.”

Your family can choose from either “Ghosts of the Past” tour or participate in both for a well-rounded history lesson.

When you’re busy helping your kids with their homework, pretending to go to Pilates, and skipping PTA because you have one more season of The League left to watch, catching up on news sites and watching Brian Williams gets pushed to the sidelines. (But why in the world would you ever neglect dreamy Brian Williams?)

So welcome to our weekly feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we've sorted through the enormous (and colorful) piles of parenting news and gossip so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

I liked you very much. Just the way you were.

It's finally beginning to feel like fall. (Ok. not really, but if you step outside really early in the morning, before you've even had your coffee, there is a bit of a nip in the air.) But it is the time of year to start scouring for that perfect pumpkin. And in St. Louis, a trip to the pumpkin patch means you're in for a day of carnival rides, petting zoos, wagon rides, custard, funnel cakes and bounce houses along with the full fall harvest to load up into your minivan.

Here are a few popular pumpkin patches to put on your list.

I used to think it was normal parenting behavior to spend every waking moment brainstorming horrific random things that could happen to your kids.

“So, what about being attacked by a family of jellyfish?” My friends stared at me like I had a tap dancing chimp on my head. “Sinkholes filled with alligators?” I asked hopefully.

You might say I'm a worrier. And I thought I had run through every possible emergency parenting scenario and how I would react – always emerging the hero, obviously – in my head, but that's the thing about being a parent. You're all ready to push your kid out from under a falling tree branch and then a runaway Shriner car jumps the curb and flies into the parade crowd.

It’s hard to plan a night at the theater that everyone in the family can enjoy. There’s not enough slapstick for the kids, not enough action for dad, and not enough Justin Timberlake for mom.

When you’re busy helping your kids with their homework, pretending to go to Pilates, and skipping PTA because you have one more season of The League left to watch, catching up on news sites and watching Brian Williams gets pushed to the sidelines. (But why in the world would you ever neglect dreamy Brian Williams?)

So welcome to our latest feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we've sorted through the enormous (and colorful) piles of parenting news and gossip so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

As much as our kids love their technology and pop music, we as parents can help introduce them to the first musical superstars.

Trying to explain the last few years of my life to people who don’t know me well is always a bit of a challenge.