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My kids are both serious carnivores. I can’t say that I blame, they come by it naturally. While I may serve dinners made of chickpeas and quinoa on a regular basis, I’m still at my happiest when scarfing down a Thickburger from Hardee’s (especially one that has been slathered in extra mayo).  
 

It wasn't until after I lost the baby weight that I really started to worry. I was back at my starting point, number wise, but let's just say things had settled into a most unsavory final resting place.

After taking an afternoon to think about it I came to my final decision. I was going to have full body plastic surgery.

But then Nick, my husband, said that wouldn't be a good idea.

Something really strange is happening to me as I get older. I can't even watch someone jump on a trampoline without peeing all over myself.

But that's probably a conversation best had with my doctor.

The other thing that's happening is that I'm losing my holiday spirit.

French President Francois Hollande made headlines recently when he proposed a total ban on homework as part of his effort to reform France’s educational system. In related news, I am now officially moving to the land of crusty baguettes and smelly cheese.

Despite having lived most of their lives in St. Louis, my children had — up until this past weekend — never been to the Saint Louis Science Center. It’s a major mom fail, I know, ranking right up there with forgetting to pack the Gushers in last Friday’s lunchbox as promised.  I may never hear the end of that one.

Now that we’re about to reach our upper-30’s, Mr.

 You know what my sisters and I did to entertain ourselves when

we were kids? We played with used syringes we found in the dumpster behind the hospital. And that was on a good day. When there were no syringes we played with the cinder blocks holding up our trailer.

I mean, no offense to my parents – I just grew up in the '70s. And in the '70s people didn't worry about things like “rules” or “death.” Used syringes were on every kid's birthday wish list. At least that's what my Mom told me each year as I opened my presents.

On Saturday, shrouded in the post-coital glow of a late-night Cardinals win, I took my three little girls to the October Owls and Orchids event at the Butterfly House.

When I was little, if you would have taken me to a dome filled with beautiful flowers and butterflies... well I would have just pooped kittens right there on the spot.