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When you’re busy helping your kids with their homework, pretending to go to Pilates, and skipping PTA because you have one more season of The League left to watch, catching up on news sites and watching Brian Williams gets pushed to the sidelines. (But why in the world would you ever neglect dreamy Brian Williams?)

So welcome to our weekly feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we've sorted through the enormous (and colorful) piles of parenting news and gossip so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

I liked you very much. Just the way you were.

It's finally beginning to feel like fall. (Ok. not really, but if you step outside really early in the morning, before you've even had your coffee, there is a bit of a nip in the air.) But it is the time of year to start scouring for that perfect pumpkin. And in St. Louis, a trip to the pumpkin patch means you're in for a day of carnival rides, petting zoos, wagon rides, custard, funnel cakes and bounce houses along with the full fall harvest to load up into your minivan.

Here are a few popular pumpkin patches to put on your list.

I used to think it was normal parenting behavior to spend every waking moment brainstorming horrific random things that could happen to your kids.

“So, what about being attacked by a family of jellyfish?” My friends stared at me like I had a tap dancing chimp on my head. “Sinkholes filled with alligators?” I asked hopefully.

You might say I'm a worrier. And I thought I had run through every possible emergency parenting scenario and how I would react – always emerging the hero, obviously – in my head, but that's the thing about being a parent. You're all ready to push your kid out from under a falling tree branch and then a runaway Shriner car jumps the curb and flies into the parade crowd.

It’s hard to plan a night at the theater that everyone in the family can enjoy. There’s not enough slapstick for the kids, not enough action for dad, and not enough Justin Timberlake for mom.

When you’re busy helping your kids with their homework, pretending to go to Pilates, and skipping PTA because you have one more season of The League left to watch, catching up on news sites and watching Brian Williams gets pushed to the sidelines. (But why in the world would you ever neglect dreamy Brian Williams?)

So welcome to our latest feature, Dirty Laundry, in which we've sorted through the enormous (and colorful) piles of parenting news and gossip so you don't have to. And we're throwing it in the spin cycle along with a little bit of snark and a whole lot of judgment.

As much as our kids love their technology and pop music, we as parents can help introduce them to the first musical superstars.

Trying to explain the last few years of my life to people who don’t know me well is always a bit of a challenge.

This week I decided to try my first cleanse because, well, frankly jeans season intimidates me more than swimsuit season.

Hear me out.

Last weekend, the husband and I spent our 10-year wedding anniversary doing something we frequently did before the little Plegges came along – enjoying a weekend music festival and making fun of that drunk girl.

Between making googly eyes at Brandon Flowers and mentally chastising the 20-somethings for some of their fashion choices (Honestly girls – you will never have a better butt than you do at age 21. To take it for granted with your ironic mom-jean shorts makes me weep.), I looked over at my husband and thought, man, I am lucky to have him. And also how ridiculous he would look in a hipster tank top and neon sunglasses.

In honor of our 10-year anniversary, I wanted to share with my own kids a few words of wisdom to follow when picking out a mate. I know, I know, I have no room to talk – 10 years is just a blip in the overall game of life, but by Hollywood standards, we’re celebrating our diamond anniversary, worthy of a surprise potluck and card shower in the church basement.

To my darling daughters:

The Foundry Art Centre kicks off its new Children's Book Club in October, offering kids a chance to mix reading and art. Kids ages 3-8 can join the club, which meets once each month, and explore the world of books through fairy tales, sharing opinons and themed art projects.

On September 28, grab your cleats and head to Hermann Stadium at Saint Louis University for the third annual Great America SCORES Soccer Dribble. Your goal?

When a new movie premieres at the Saint Louis Science Center's OMINIMAX Theater, it's a big deal - literally.

Alexis and Krystle. Kelly and Brenda. Zach and Slater. If there’s anything 80’s TV has taught us is that everyone has a frenemy at one point or another. Yet, as any parent knows, the frenemy battles can start early in a child’s life.

While preschoolers may not be stealing each other’s boyfriends or shoving their enemies in the mud by their shoulder pads, hitting, name-calling and hair-pulling can become the norm when they’re trying to find their spot in the social hierarchy.

According to Chesterfield play therapist and registered clinician James Carroll, the main reason children argue at this young age is because of their level of development, which affects their ability to control their emotions and aggressive feelings.

According to a report released earlier this year by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), breastfeeding rates are on the rise.

It was a beautiful summer morning, unseasonably cool for August. We didn't have anything on the calendar so I decided to take my girls on a leisurely stroll to pick up a few items at the grocery store, then swing by the dry cleaner for my husband's dress shirts on our way home.

My one-year-old happily chattered in her stroller pointing out birds and squirrels, craning her head upward to smile at me when I pointed out the same to her. My two and four-year-olds merrily skipped along the sidewalk in front of us shouting “die creatures die” every time they stomped on an ant. It was the perfect morning – the kind of morning I dreamed about having when I dreamed about being a stay-at-home Mom.

But by the time we arrived back home I was more anxious than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. That little voice inside my head, you know the one – the one who tells you to do things, like pour bleach on your neighbor's stupid perfect flowers? (No? Just me? Nobody?) Well by the time we walked in our garage that little voice was screaming inside my head, “That took you over two hours. TWO. HOURS. Do you know how much more you could have accomplished today if you would have just driven?” I hurried the kids inside and dusted something.

Camping is usually considered a summertime activity, but really there’s no better time to spend a few days living outdoors than now – when the summer heat transitions into autumn relief. No longer will you have to swelter on hikes, become a drinking fountain for mosquitos, or roast around the campfire – but instead soak up nature in cool comfort. To get your kids pumped up about the great outdoors, join them for a camping trial run at Camp In’ Under the Arch this weekend, a special event hosted by the National Park Service (NPS) in honor of Founders Day, its 97th birthday celebration.

Internet privacy has been a hot button topic recently. From controversies surrounding the National Security Agency’s surveillance of Internet usage and emails to the monitoring of our shopping habits by retailers (new merchandise return tracking enhancements has this chronic returner hanging her in head in shame), we often feel like we have eyes on us everywhere we go.

While we’re concerned about our own privacy as adults, the thought of someone snooping on our little ones online can bring out the mama bear.

According to eMarketer, 25 percent of kids ages 5 to 7, and 39 percent of kids 6 to 9 have a smart phone or tablet. While limited screen time can offer online learning opportunities for kids (and let’s face it, mind-numbing games when mom and dad need a 10-minute break), it also can expose kids’ information to third party companies.

Is your child's piggy bank a bit empty lately? Maybe those summer lemonade stands didn't quite turn the profit he or she had expected.