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A couple of weeks ago my fellow blogger Sharon pondered the question of bullying. She was worried about her daughter, both her potential to be a victim and her potential to be influenced by the “alpha kids” at school. Most of us can relate to her dilemma – and the feelings of helplessness we struggle with as parents.

An interesting Canadian study released this past week looked at bullying from a group standpoint and found that it may be an extreme form of our natural desire for order within social settings. The kids who were victimized tended to be different and thus threaten the established hierarchy. That is, the “alpha kids” – fifth- and sixth-graders in this case – were protecting their status at the expense of the victimized children.

I don’t know about you, but it makes me crazy that the foods offered to my children at their respective schools often seem to undo all of my efforts to make sure they’re eating healthy at home. On any given day, either one of my older children could choose for lunch an order of French fries and a packaged brownie that has so many preservatives in it that I could set it aside and serve it to my future great-grandchildren.
 

I’ve always thought myself to be a pretty mellow sports fan. I love watching sports, I just don’t love it. Going to Busch Stadium for me is really an excuse to eat hot dogs and get a tan. I think the last time I really got passionate – and by passionate, I mean jumping on a table and knocking over a round of beers – over a game was the Illinois-Arizona Elite 8 matchup in 2005.

But when it’s your own kid, you become a fanatic.

As I sat in my lawn chair during my 4-year-old’s first soccer game, I knew I had to keep my emotions in check. While I cheered MJ and her teammates on, I eventually had to clamp my hand over my mouth to stop myself from playing sideline coach or admonishing the referee for failing to eject the dirty-playin’ preschooler who tripped my kid.

To ensure I remain the supportive – not obnoxious – parent in the stands, I turned to Dr. David Shields via e-mail to get his insights on what makes a good sports parent. Shields is an expert in healthy competition – he’s an associate professor in the College of Education at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, author of True Competition: A Guide to Pursuing Excellence in Sports & Society and founder of TrueCompetition.Org, a nonprofit dedicated to providing the insights, skills and approaches necessary to reclaim competition as a place of excellence, ethics and enjoyment.

New Year’s resolutions are all well and good, but I for one don’t really have the energy to start new lifestyle commitments right after the holidays. This first full week of fall is a different story – I’m inspired by the cooler nights, back-to-school routines and fresh-off-the-tree apples.

And I don’t think I’m the only one – during the past week my inbox has been full of great ideas for enriching our children’s lives. Here, in no particular order, are five ideas to get you started.

It’s my favorite time of the year. The leaves are turning gold, the heat is easing up and, best of all, I no longer have to watch endless home remodels on DIY Network just to get my TV fix.

Yes, this week, thanks to the launch of the new fall TV season, I’ll be reuniting with some of my best friends – Sue Sylvester, Liz Lemon, Jules Cobb. However, there’s no one I’ve been looking forward to reconnecting with more over a glass of wine and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups than Frankie Heck of Orson, Ind., and the matriarch of The Middle on ABC.

I burst a first-grader’s bubble the other day. We were all set to go on one of the last water park outings of the summer, and as he was about to climb into our car, I stopped him. “What about your car seat?” I asked.

He gave me a highly insulted look, the kind only a perturbed 6-year-old can muster, but before he could say anything his mom jumped in. “Oh, he’s tall enough,” his mom replied. “He doesn’t need one.”

We stood there discussing it for a bit. She was pretty sure she was right, I was pretty sure she was wrong. I think she gave in only because I’d have been the one paying the $50 citation plus court costs for violating the booster seat law in Missouri – and because our destination was Illinois, I could potentially have been set back another $50 on that side of the river.

So what are the rules?

I’m not the kind of mom to follow trends, so I was a little slow on the uptake on the whole crazy bands (aka Silly Bandz) fad.

You can play a role in saving the lives of children right here in St. Louis just by chowing down on a cheeseburger. Or pizza, tacos or spaghetti.

My son has shark teeth: His permanent teeth are growing behind his baby teeth. Apparently this is pretty common (another SmartParenting blogger recently dealt with this too), but I admit I’m baffled. Don’t baby teeth just fall out?

Not always. It turns out there are a lot of reasons why some kids’ baby teeth are tenacious. One is genetics. Another is impatience. Some kids are more aggressive at wiggling loose teeth. In my 7-year-old’s case, he needed encouragement from the dentist to start wiggling and twisting his three loose teeth.

In fact, she pretty much gave him an ultimatum this morning.

Last Thursday night, Mr. P and I went to a concert to celebrate our anniversary. We saw one of my absolute favorites, Jamie Lidell, put on an incredible show at the Old Rock House. If you haven’t been to either before, I highly recommend them both.

When we were dating, Mr. P and I loved going to concerts. Since having kids, we still enjoy going, but our shows are few and far in between. Mostly because someone needs to be home with the little ones and because concerts are expensive, but really because, let’s face it, we’re not 28 anymore.

Here’s what’s changed in our concert-going ways once the Little Ps made their appearances:

When we moved to Edwardsville from the city, I wanted to make a few changes to fit in with my new suburban surroundings.

This past week one of my colleagues at Parents as Teachers (where I do some freelance work) was aglow over the news of a “miraculous” baby. The tiny boy was born prematurely and had been pronounced dead – but he was revived after being held in "kangaroo care" against his mom’s chest for a couple of hours, while doctors left her and her husband alone with him so they could grieve and say final farewells.

In fact, their doctor was so disbelieving that he wouldn’t return to check out the baby’s lifelike “reflexes.” The parents had to resort to deception to get him to come back and confirm that the boy was indeed alive.

It’s a couple of weeks into the school year … how’s it going?  If your answer is “not so hot,” maybe your child could use a boost to get onto the right track.

On page 28 of our Fall issue (yes, it’s now available digitally as well as in print!!), writer Gina Parsons shares local educators’ insights into possible problems and solutions. Some kids will benefit from testing for learning issues; others may get all the help they need from a tutor.

Another option is a computerized learning program that zeroes in on brain processing skills. Don’t let your eyes glaze over – this is fascinating stuff. Our brains are sort of like computers. They have a processing speed. But because we’re on the inside, we may not be aware that our mental “computer” is running more slowly than it could be. To someone on the outside – for example, you watching your child – the poky pace may be more apparent.

As new mothers, most of us have been there. The day we welcome our little ones to our families, we look over at our significant other and think, “Wow, I could never love him more than I do right now.”

Two weeks later, after our third round of middle-of-the-night nursing, we muster all our strength not to throw our breast pump at the snoring lump of husband in our bed.

Having a baby is hard on any couple, especially those experiencing parenthood for the first time. Between the sleeplessness and the financial stress, it’s no wonder that 60 percent of couples experience a drop in relationship quality within three years of a child’s birth.